Thursday, June 13, 2013

This Letter May or May Not Help

Two posts in one day! Hell yeah! That's what I'm talkin bout Willis! Well after reading Big Holly's post yesterday I couldn't pass it up. Then this mornin I read Allie's and Brin's letters, I HAD to write up my own!

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Dear Twenty One Year Old Anna,

You're life is going so great right now. You have a great job working at a hair salon making good money. Don't let petty drama filled girls get in your way. They aren't worth it. Do your job, do it well, and make that money honey.

You need to learn how to save that money. You have mastered spending it like crazy. Now it's time to learn how to put some back every now and then so you don't live paycheck to paycheck. Open a savings account.

Those shots you are given on your 21st birthday in Downtown Clemson will kick your ass FAST! Only take a few, then give the rest of the 21 shots to your friends and whoever else will take them. After you get to Tiger Town Tavern you will only be there 15 minutes and have to go home. But not before you puke your guts out in the trash can as you are walking out. Thank your fiance for taking your drunk ass home and try not to puke on your own feet as your walking to the car. Worst smell and feeling ever!

You are engaged and in the middle of planning your wedding. Re-evaluate who your bridesmaids are. They'll give you so many issues. You'll thank yourself later. Scratch all those plans and have a small tropical destination wedding. (Sorry Mama) You loved your wedding and almost everything about it, but later in life you'll wish it was different.
The friend you make at work that parties like a rock star will become the most loyal best friend you will ever have. Ever. Besides your mother of course. But not before you have a big falling out and not talk for over a year and aren't invited to her wedding. Then you get her a job with you and all is well in the land of bffs.
You will also party like a rock star and dance the night away. Drink it up and live it up. It will be some of the most memorable times of your life. Enjoy each moment with every person you encounter during this time. Some of them won't make it in the next 5 years.

When you get pregnant in three years, don't eat whatever the hell you want to. *ahem*cheeseburgers&gravyfries*ahem* You will swell up like an orka and have extremely high blood pressure. Give up the soda for water and eat a well balanced diet. After you have said child, get off your ass and work out, lose some weight. Don't let it linger. It's harder to get off!

Last but not least, hug your brother and tell him you love him. Even if he does make it the most awkward moments ever. It will be worth it later. Then after you tell him that, punch him in the gut and run like hell til he trips you and you fall. Wrestle him to the ground and laugh about it. Just like that time you got got kicked off the school bus for fighting each other.

This letter may or may not help you in the long run. Just remember to live life & never let anyone hold you back. Tell everyone you love how much they mean to you and have fun always!

Lots of Jager Bombs,
                      Twenty Eight Year Old Anna

P.S. Don't get rid of your poodle like a dumbass. You'll regret it for the next 5 years.




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9 comments:

  1. Sounds like the bridesmaids were annoying! That was one reason why I wanted to elope. Too many people think that YOUR special day should be exactly what THEY want.

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  2. LOL..you are too funny! Sounds like you have learned some things though, so that's good!

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  3. Even though I am a Gamecock, I rang in my 21 in DT Clemson too!! And girl I have moments where I am ready to throw the wedding overboard and run for the islands and elope!!

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  4. I love it! Sounds like you had a lot of fun when you were 21 :)

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  5. "Reevaluate bridesmaids"---- I am so shocked more people didn't say that. So true for me too!

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  6. Stopping by from the linkup and I loved this!! Looks like you partied hard in your day :) Happy Thursday!

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  7. This is awesome.
    1) Kudos for being honest about your wedding regrets. Takes balls.
    2) I wish gravy fries were gluten, fat and calorie free.
    3) That shit about y'all gettin' kicked off the school bus is straight up hilarious. :)

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  8. This made me laugh out load! Love this and you!

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  9. I love this! The only bridesmaid I still talk to is my sis.

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