Thursday, March 13, 2014

The C word

Yesterday my life changed forever. I got news that I wasn't completely ready for.
 
Let me back up just a little bit back in July I noticed a knot on the left side of my neck. It wasn't painful and didn't really bother me other than the thought that it was there. I didn't have insurance to just run off to the doctor to find out what it was. I was working for a company as a contractor and insurance just didn't matter. So end of August came around and I got a new job with insurance. I didn't think much about the knot at this point, I was just living and not worrying.
 
Well I joined our city gym and started to work out with my best friend. I felt good doing Pilates and going to other classes. One of the classes didn't turn out so well for me. I lost my breath and luckily there was an EMT taking the class and she checked me out to make sure that I was okay. I was, but just out of breath.
 
After that incident I didn't work out much again and my best friend helped me decide that I really need to get checked out by a doctor. So I scheduled an appointment to see my doctor. I went in and told him all that had happened and even told him about my knot. As soon as he touched it he said he would refer me to and ENT. I thought okay, no biggie. Thyroid or something minor.
 
About a week later I went to the ENT. She was awesome! She explained to me and the hubs everything that she was going to do. She ran a camera down from my nose all the way to my vocal cords to see if there was anything she could see that would cause me to lose my breath or a blockage. She didn't see anything. She felt around on my neck and feeling the knot too. She wanted me to have a CT scan and have dye injected to see what was going on. On Feb. 14th, I went in and got the CT scan done. Man, that was wild! That dye, weird! It makes you feel all warm and fuzzy but not in a good way. She said that in a week we would come back to review the scan.
 
The hubs and I went back and she showed us the scanned images. There were several lymph nodes in and around my neck. She was concerned and wanted to do a surgical biopsy and remove some to send off to find out exactly what it is. She scheduled the surgery for March 5th. I was scared to death. I had never had any kind of surgery except to have my wisdom teeth removed.
 
On March 5th we show up at the hospital at 7am. The hubs, my mom, his mom and I go up the elevator and they told my family that I have to back alone first to get set up and they would page them to come back to my little room. Right then my heart dropped to my stomach. I didn't want to be left alone at all! I went back and was ordered to undress and put on a purple paper gown. It was hot as hell! I was sweating like crazy! The nurse took a tube that blew air and attached it to my gown! Ahh! Much better! She then tried to start an iv. UGH! I have rolling veins so it is always a challenge when they start an iv on me. She couldn't find a good vein to start in. You know when you look at your wrist and you see that bone sticking out? She tried to run an iv there! I was upset because it hurt and I asked her to take it out. She said that she would get the anesthesiologist to start the iv. I thanked her.
 
Then she finally paged my family to come in. I was ready to get that mess over with. The anesthesiologist came in and talked to me and started my iv with no problem at all! Thank goodness! I was given some meds to ease my mind and after that I was wheeled off and I don't remember much after that. I woke up in recovery thirsty as all get out. The nurse there gave me some ice chips and took off. I can remember thinking "come back I want more!" She came back but took me back to my little room where my family was waiting for me. My Nana had shown up and I was happy to hear her voice. I was happy to hear every one's voice but she stood out for some reason. I was stiff and had to pee so bad. They let me get up and walk to the bathroom! I had the iv and a line that my mom was trying to help carry and I took it from her and rushed to the bathroom. I had to go that bad. ha!
 
Once they knew I could get around they let me get my clothes on and go home around 2pm. The ride home was rough. I felt every bump and it made me hurt a little. I tried to sleep the rest of the day but I never did. I didn't sleep well at night after that. I'm a side sleeper and I had to be on my back. The hubs said that I was a big baby that night trying to get in bed. He literally had to cradle me and lean me back into my pillow. For 4 days I was waited on hand and foot by the hubs. He is the best and most amazing husband ever! I couldn't ask for more!
 
Monday I returned to work and waited until Wednesday to get the results from the biopsy. Going into that ENT office and waiting was nerve wrecking! The hubs and my mom came with me for support. I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma.  It's cancer. Great. Not what I wanted to hear. No one does. I've cried, and cried, and cried. I will get through this. I have to suck it up and deal with it. God is right here with me guiding the way. It's just so hard to accept the fact that I have cancer. The C word. I have many cheerleaders already and I'm thankful. I love my support group. Without them I would still be in pity party mode. Well, I still get that way, but who doesn't. We can't wallow in it. We have to fight it and be strong.
 
I will meet a cancer doctor in the next two weeks to get the process started to find out what stage it is in and what to course of action will be. I will keep y'all posted as much as I can! Peace, love, and chicken grease y'all! 
 
 
 
 
 



33 comments:

  1. KICK CANCERS ASS SEA BASS! You got this ;) Love ya!!!

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  2. Oh my gosh. I'm crying. I'm so sorry to hear that you have cancer. Many, many, many thoughts and prayers and love your way right this minute. PLEASE don't hesistate to email me if you need to talk about anything at all. Thinking of you so much.

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  3. Oh friend I am so sorry to hear this. I know the emotions that your family is feeling...cancer affects everyone. I will be praying for your health, that God guides the doctors' hands, and your husband and son to give them the strength they're going to need to get through all of this. Hang in there lady!

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  4. Lots of prayers for you, friend. You are a spunky, sassy lady, and you will beat this.

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  5. Anna, new reader here. I just wanted to wish you the very best. I was diagnosed with lymphoma and another cancer at 27 weeks pregnant. I obviously opted out of treatment because of how far along I was and my little lady will be turning 6 next Tuesday. I am battling bone cancer at the moment. You are going to get through this. It seems like you have an amazing support system and the faith to get through anything. My instagram has a lot of fighters and survivors on it you can find me @cpcakemama I will also leave a link to my blog. DO NOT hesitate to reach out to me. You will be in my prayers. http://cupcakeearthquake.blogspot.com/

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  6. Oh sweet lady hugs and prayers for you! You will be this country girls are tough you got this!

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  7. Oh, Anna! I was praying that it wasn't the C word! Please remember that God doesn't plan or cause sickness and pain, but he will be there with you through this storm. We both are going to show the evil one how strong we really are. You are going to get through this and your faith and strength will be a light for so many! Love ya! Big hugs, friend! And you have been there for me, and I will do the same for you. I do not want to make empty promises. Please let me do anything you need me to do. I can come there, help with Z (our boys would have a blast), cook, clean, or anything else. Just ask! I may not even wait for you to ask! ;-)

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  8. Anna,
    I am so SORRY!! I really had no idea the seriousness of your procedure until I saw your facebook post today! I haven't been on Facebook much this week due to me having medical problems as well! I'm still WAITING on the results of my biopsy so I 100% understand the terrified feeling on waiting on the results! Going through all this I have learned several things, but the most important one is God does give you strength when strength is needed and he will NEVER EVER leave our side! My sister in law had the same Cancer several years ago and showed it who's boss! She's been cancer free now for over 8 years and so will you be!!! You keep that amazing attitude and faith in God and you wil no doubt have a happy ending! I will add you to my prayer chain and ask that you add me to yours!!

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  9. Anna,
    I am so SORRY!! I really had no idea the seriousness of your procedure until I saw your facebook post today! I haven't been on Facebook much this week due to me having medical problems as well! I'm still WAITING on the results of my biopsy so I 100% understand the terrified feeling on waiting on the results! Going through all this I have learned several things, but the most important one is God does give you strength when strength is needed and he will NEVER EVER leave our side! My sister in law had the same Cancer several years ago and showed it who's boss! She's been cancer free now for over 8 years and so will you be!!! You keep that amazing attitude and faith in God and you wil no doubt have a happy ending! I will add you to my prayer chain and ask that you add me to yours!!

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  10. I am so very sorry darlin! I know that we haven't talked a lot in the years since high school, but I love reading your posts and watching your little man grow. I'm here for you if you ever need me and I'll be praying for you and your family. My love and prayers your way- count me as another cheerleader!

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  11. I'm praying for you my love!!! You're one tough cookie, you'll get thru this!!!!

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  12. Im so sorry ,but you can kick this...love you

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  13. I wish I could hug the tar out of you. Cancer is no joke! I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this mess. You'll be in my prayers. Please keep us posted. This is going to be a long roller coaster ride for you, but you are strong! God is using you as his vessel even during this extremely hard time.

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  14. Prayers and positive vibes coming your way!!!!

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  15. Anna-B you are going to kick Cancers ass!!!!! I know this has been crazy and thank Goodness you finally went in I def understand the no insurance that how we were until all of Maci accidents and then we were like we have got to do something. You know I will be here rooting you on and so many more of us are your biggest fans. Will be thinking and praying for you and your family

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  16. I don't even have the words right now. You are an amazing momma and a wonderful wife and it sounds like you're family is the most supporting unit EVER. Oh Annabelle I'm thinking of you. PLEASE. On the real. I know we live thousands of miles apart but if you need ANYTHING. You holler and we can make things happen. KICK THAT CANCERS ASS!

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  17. Sarah Day fro Parent Your Business said something about you having a hard day and I just wanted to wish you all the best.

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  18. Wow! I can just imagine how scared you have felt and how terrified you must be now. I went through a breast cancer scare and those weeks waiting for tests and results were just the worst in my life... I was lucky and my biopsy came back clean. But still all those thoughts and scenarios that run through your mind are just terrifying.

    It sounds like you've got a great team of Doctors looking out for you! Keep positive that's very important!

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  19. Wishing you the best possible news today.

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  20. Just found your blog today. Whispering a prayer for you.

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  21. Hi Anna, I saw a link to your blog over on 24 to 30 & wanted to reach out because a little over 3 years ago I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma. I am now 2+ years cancer free & know how terrifying this process can be. I wrote a blog during my treatment and some afterwards & wanted to offer you a link in case you'd like to check it out - www.owlyouneedishope.com. Please feel free to also email me holdingthestars(at)gmail(dot)com. Best of luck! I will be following along with your journey.

    - Kayla

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  22. Popping over from Easily Entertained where Christina shared a little bit of your story. I can't even image what you must be going though but your attitude is so inspiring! They say that having a strong will and fight makes a huge difference so you've got that on your side. Sending good vibes your way and I'll be following along with your journey :)

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  23. Oh, Anna. I am so sorry to hear this. Cancer is, well there really are no words to describe it. I love your outlook and your end photo shows me a little something about you. Not too mention, you are blogging about this so soon after hearing the news. I would be hiding under my blankets! Much strength to you and your family. Stay positive!

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  24. I'm so sorry to hear this! I have a dear friend who is a recent breast cancer survivor. She's a fighter and it sounds like you are too! Sending prayers for strength and healing!

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  25. Hoping the best possible outcome for you. Sending prayers your way.

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  26. Stopping by from Jen's blog. Good luck Carolina Girl, our prayers are with you. From a fellow sweet tea lovin, (North) Carolina mom blogger.

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  27. Prayers for you, lovely lady. Stay strong.

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  28. I was just diagnosed with cancer myself about 7 weeks ago. I'm a 34 yr old wife and mother of 3. No one can prepare you for what it feels like when the Dr. tells you that you have cancer. You are going to have good days, ok days, and terrible days. Keep your chin up and don't be afraid to ask your friends and family for help, even if it's just having a meal dropped off. Now, go kick that cancer's patootie!

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  29. anna, you are in my prayers. i know you will kick the shit outta the c word.

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  30. All of the support you have here should make you feel better! Everyone that is diagnosed with cancer takes it different...some panic, some refuse to know anything else, and some hasn't caught up with the facts. I don't know how u feel but I do know that u r blessed in life. You have a wonderful husband and obviously a wonderful family and a son who looks at u everyday...there is u someone to stay positive for every single day! The C word is bad enough but your supporters will not let u get down. God is by your side and you will still continue to receive blessings, even when u receive bad news. Maybe, just maybe, your website you created here will help other females cope with cancer! Some people put their frustrations in a book and make money. You can help people with this. I believe something good will come of it. I will pray for u. I can't pray that your sickness will disappear but I can pray that u have strength to make it through it so maybe god will make it disappear in the end. It's a scary situation to find out news like this. When I found out my cysts on my ovaries returned and that I've been infertile now for 5 years, that was enough! I ran away from the doctor! Now that my periods disappeared, and seeing how brave u have been so far, makes me feel that I'm not alone and maybe I can be brave and go do some things u have done! Take care Anna and you and your family will be in my prayers.

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