Thursday, May 03, 2012

Being a Parent: Sleeping in Your Bed

Do you let your kid(s) sleep with you?

Have they always slept with you?

How do you sleep at night?

This Moma refuses to start or ever have a habit like this with her kids.

Let me give you a bit of a back story.

Before I ever became pregnant, I knew that having your child sleep in your bed was a bad idea. I have a family member, whom which will remain anonymous, that let's their child sleep with them. This child has slept with them from birth. He is now going on 7 years old. At the time I heard of this, he was probably 4 or 5. I was in shock! "How do you get any sleep?", I asked the parents. They responded with, "I guess we are just used to it."

Really? There have been too many cases in the area I live in that an infant had been smothered to death my the parent. Why? Sleeping with them in the same bed, or even on a couch! When you have a child, a lot of professionals even tell you not to sleep with the baby in your arms or beside you.  They know whats best, why not listen to them? Yes, I said infant, but it could happen at any age! It is less common is older children, but it still happens. No one wants to be the cause of death to their own child. Unless you are some crazy psycho that doesn't need a child to begin with!

Once I found out I was pregnant, the hubs and I would always discuss how we would handle situations like this, or what our opinion was. We were usually on the same page. Especially this one.

We knew that as a baby he would sleep in the same room as us for a long time, but that was as close as he would get. We set up is crib in our room and he slept there for the longest. He actually slept there for little over a year. One night I finally decided it was time to move his crib to his room. First I had to convince the hubs that we would try it. He was game, so we disassembled the crib and made the move. Turned the baby monitor up wide open, and laid in our bed for about an hour listening to hear how he would react. His reaction? Nothing but Zzzz's! He slept so great and all night once he was there. (Que the angels!) {Side note: We had a really good monitor. We hung it right above the bar in his crib. We could hear him roll over when he got older. Invest in a good one, you don't need video or at least that's my opinion}

Although, every so often I would go check to make sure he was breathing. That's a mommy thing, I swear! Once I was comfortable with it, I quit checking.

Zane never even napped in the same bed as us until he was two years old. He got sick and slept on the couch where it was easy access to a trash can. Enough said. We got Zane a toddler bed when he was 2 1/2 and just recently upgraded to a bunk bed. (his feet hung off the toddler bed. ha!) He is now allowed the privilege to sleep in our bed in our bed once a month and it has to be a weekend. We let him choose between that and the couch. He usually chooses the couch or on the floor in his pup tent.

My theory on this sleep subject was not to allow it, so that it will not form a habit.
 I've heard complaints extending from: the impact on their comfort, sleep, as well as intimacy.
When sleeping this moma needs to be comfortable! Having a wee one in the bed is not comfortable to me. I worry the whole time Zane is in the bed with us. He also tosses and turns and sometimes kicks in his sleep. I cannot handle that mess! Intimacy, (TMI I know, but needs to be addressed) I love my hubby and we need "Mommy & Daddy Time" as often as we can get it. I feel it makes us easier to get along with! But that's just me. There is no way, no how, this woman here will ever "make whoopie" with a child in the same room!

Let's make one thing clear here, this is my opinion. Everyone is entitled to one. I know many people who let their child sleep with them. That's your choice. I commend you for being able to function. Lord knows I couldn't! I will say that it is a great form of bonding to sleep and cuddle with that little booger, but I just couldn't do it. You are welcome to express your opinions to me, I might even agree with what you have to say! I love all my readers, so please do not get offended by my opinions. xoxo


  1. Hi, Annabelle from SC! I am from NC just above you in good ol' Charlotte, but I have lived all over the state. I also agree with you on this post. Never was a fan of letting the little ones sleep in our bed. Of course, I do have to give my husband credit for putting them in their own bed when I fell asleep nursing them as babies. Haha! I do not feel it is safe for the baby (terrified of SIDS), and I also am a mama who loves her sleep...and her hubby! My kids do too! They have always been awesome sleepers...sleeping through the night by 2 months old. I love our good reliable monitor system (we loved the AngelCare with the sensor pad because of its ability to sound the alarm if the baby stopped breathing...never had an incident but who wants to chance it?). I also feel that video monitors are pretty much can't watch your baby when you are sleeping, can you? Haha!

    Hope you are having a good Friday!

  2. Hi! I live in Columbia and found your blog via Kelly's Korner.

    I completely agree with this post and the comment by Sherry as well. I am so terrified of SIDS and knew long before Oliver was born that there was absolutely no way I'd ever let him sleep in bed with us. Now that I've watched him kick and thrash around, ending up completely turned around in his crib I'm so thankful we made that choice. Last thing I want is to be punched in the face while I sleep.

    Anyway, I'm so glad you linked and I can follow a fellow South Carolinian!

  3. Hi! I just stopped by your blog from Kelly's Korner. I'm also from SC! :) Totally agree with your post. We have a 9 month old and she has never slept in our bed- at night or for naps. I'm just too nervous about rolling over, and now that she's crawling I'm nervous about her crawling/falling out of our bed. Plus, I just don't want to make a habit of something that we would have to break her of. Why go through the trouble? She sleeps great in her crib and has slept through the night since 11 weeks. We definitely don't want to mess with a good thing! I can get plenty of snuggles at other times!
    Anyway, nice to "meet" you!

  4. I don't have kids yet, but I definitely don't plan to let them sleep in our bed! I would be much too worried about suffocating the baby. That really does happen and I have seen it in the ER quite a few times.

  5. New follower from Kelly's Korner. Looking forward to checking out your blog and hope you'll visit mine as well!

  6. I'm stopping by from KK and I'm a fellow Carolina Girl! I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old and we don't do the sharing the bed thing either. Our 3 year old has slept with us twice and that was when there was no other option...and none of us got any sleep!

    Nice meeting you and I'm looking forward to getting to know you!


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