Back in May I shared with you an issue that was weighing on my heart heavily, Big Mistake Uno and Big Mistake Dos.
I have since come to terms with it and the fact that I will probably never have a relationship with nameless family member ever again. Yes, I said "ever again".
August was a year that we have not spoken. A year.
So mid August, my mom asked me if it was going to be awkward to have her at my grandpa's birthday party at my parents house. I told her no and that I was an adult and I would even speak to her when she got there. Well it weighed on my mind and that evening I sent nameless family member a text to let her know I was thinking about her and hoped that she was doing okay.
The response I got was not what I wanted. She came across strong and awkward. I just continued to text and make small talk with her. Never once did she say anything about our situation. I'm not sure what I was expecting to come from me contacting her but it felt like I was getting negative energy from her. So I sent her a picture of Zane and left it at that.
Fast forward to that following weekend, my grandpa's birthday at my parents house. Nameless family member never showed up. Again, not what I was expecting, but okay. Her mother showed up and never spoke a word of her. As she was leaving I told her to tell nameless family member that I said hello. She didn't respond to what I had said.
This is where I draw the line...
I tried the whole "extend the olive branch" approach with no success. I'd say I give up, but that's just not my style. I will try but I won't be pushy. I will still send a Christmas card. I may not ever be successful, but I will try my damnedest! I know she'll come around once she hits rock bottom. From the looks of it, she might be on her way. (that's another story in it's self, but not for me to share. sorry.)
I have since come to terms with it and the fact that I will probably never have a relationship with nameless family member ever again. Yes, I said "ever again".
August was a year that we have not spoken. A year.
So mid August, my mom asked me if it was going to be awkward to have her at my grandpa's birthday party at my parents house. I told her no and that I was an adult and I would even speak to her when she got there. Well it weighed on my mind and that evening I sent nameless family member a text to let her know I was thinking about her and hoped that she was doing okay.
The response I got was not what I wanted. She came across strong and awkward. I just continued to text and make small talk with her. Never once did she say anything about our situation. I'm not sure what I was expecting to come from me contacting her but it felt like I was getting negative energy from her. So I sent her a picture of Zane and left it at that.
Fast forward to that following weekend, my grandpa's birthday at my parents house. Nameless family member never showed up. Again, not what I was expecting, but okay. Her mother showed up and never spoke a word of her. As she was leaving I told her to tell nameless family member that I said hello. She didn't respond to what I had said.
This is where I draw the line...
I tried the whole "extend the olive branch" approach with no success. I'd say I give up, but that's just not my style. I will try but I won't be pushy. I will still send a Christmas card. I may not ever be successful, but I will try my damnedest! I know she'll come around once she hits rock bottom. From the looks of it, she might be on her way. (that's another story in it's self, but not for me to share. sorry.)
Do you think I could have done anything different to have a better outcome?
Oh girl. I have been in your shoes before, sorta. Not with a family member but with a friend. And the back story isn't the same but it was like he fell of the Earth. I tried numerous times over numerous years to get in touch with him. I tried every form of communication out there. Nothing...nada! So I finally went on with life but always had him in the back of my mind. He was like a brother to me. Then finally some years later I tried one more time. I friend requested him on FB and he accepted! We got back into contact and he told me he was really sorry. His life had a taken a turn for the worst. He got into some really bad situations and as you mentioned in your post hit rock bottom. So in the end it had absolutely nothing to do with me. But it hurt nonetheless. He has completely cleaned up and is doing awesome. Unfortunately the damage to our relationship can never be undone but at least I know he's ok. Hang in there! Hopefully she'll come around.
ReplyDeleteOh, Annabelle. What to say? What to do?
ReplyDeleteHm. Fast-forward to the future. When you two die, you'll each only be accountable for what you individually did. So, you'll be held responsible for how you handled the situation, and the same goes for your relative. I think you just have to do the best you can. If you feel like you have done or are doing everything YOU can, then have peace. :) If you don't have that peace, keep trying. Keep doing.
I think it's so commendable that you extended the branch to her in the first place. It saddens me that neither she nor her mother would take it. I hope all of this gets resolved for you sometime soon. Family issues just suck. So sorry things didn't go like you would have hoped.
ReplyDelete