Friday, January 11, 2013

Being a Parent: Punishment

I've been contemplating this post for almost 6 months. I've finally decided to click the publish button. This post is not intended to offend anyone. This is just my way of doing things. Please feel free to give me your input!
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Depending on how old your rugrat(s) are is how you punish you children. Or do you punish them?

I will confess, I have a WILD CHILD! Especially when he craves attention. OH. MY. WORD. He can be all over the place sometimes! I am probably not as strict as some mothers are. My child knows right from wrong for his age. I want him to know when he needs to behave and when it is ok to get a little crazy.

I don't know about you, but I was raised on getting my tail tore up if I did wrong. I was spanked. It was either with a belt or a flyswatter. As I got older my parents would ground us, but then fall back on spankings because they would forget how long they had grounded my brother or myself for. I think I was 14 or 15 when I got my last spanking that I can remember! I was a badass as a teen. I needed that belt!



This day in age you can't do that anymore. People frown upon it. I will say that some people take spankings to a whole level that they shouldn't. BELIEVE ME I know! {loooong story, one day y'all, one day} Some know how to do it the right way.

Now that I have a child and need to have punishments for him, I think about how I was raised. I bet you're thinking I beat my child. Wrong. But you can bet your sweet ass that he gets spankings! Not a down right beating but a good tail bustin'. Let me explain: As Zane has gotten older, he is 4 going on 25 5, I find that sometimes time-out just isn't enough. I am 'that' Mom that does the "3 strikes you're out deal". I give him three chances to get it right, whatever that may be, or he gets time-out or spanking depending on how 'bad' whatever it was he did or didn't do. Follow me?

My spankings are a bit different than what I grew up with. It's usually two strikes with my hand. It lets him know I mean business. He cries for less than a minute and then he's off to his own little world of Z again. He behaves and does what I ask and that's what matters. This happens pretty often. By often, I mean, less than twice a day.  If he gets the belt, well, that's only happened three times in his life. ever. Once for stealing. Once for kicking a kid so hard he left a HUGE knot. The other time, I can't say what happened, but it was bad.

Other punishments that we use are taking things away. Usually the T.V. is first to go. Then his favorite toy at that moment goes. Why the T.V. first? Hello?!? A 4 year old should not watch so much T.V. Every chance I get for him to not have to watch it is great! He loves to watch television!

Zane also has chores. Not much but he needs to have some responsibility. He wanted a cat. He got 2 cats with the promise of taking care of them as his chore. Everyday he feeds them and plays with them when gets home from school. If he does something bad or needs a punishment, sometimes we will add another chore depending on the situation.

I think that Zane is a well rounded kid and he knows that there are consequences to his actions. He understands that his punishments are given to him according to the action. We also make sure he knows what he did was wrong. We make sure that he repeats back to us what he did and that he knows it was a bad decision on his part.

I'm not ashamed to share this with you. I think that sometimes kids need harsh punishments. Look at what this world has become in the last 20 years. If more parents would punish their kids the way that we were, things would be a whole lot different. I think that a lot of kids today are spoiled and that one day when they are older they will have a rude awakening. I have witnessed a spoiled kid, she is now 25+ years old and has no clue what a real job is even like. She thinks she does no wrong and that the world owes her something. Granted, not all kids are this way, but some are and us as parents are responsible.

I like to think of this as I am making the world of a difference by making my child a better person.

7 comments:

  1. Thanks for sharing, Anna! I, too, agree with spanking... it is how I was raised. My parent's didn't beat me - in fact, they can probably count on two hands how many spankings I got in my lifetime. I knew they meant business! And when I have kids, I plan on doing the same. I think parents who spank definitely get a bad rap these days, but it is seriously what kids need! You sound like an awesome parent, Anna!

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  2. I agree!! Like Tamara, I didn't get but one or two, but Bryant got his butt whooped all the time, ha! He needed it! We believe in it & will do it to our kid!

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  3. Great post, Annabelle! You know your child and what it takes to get him to listen! People need to pay more attention to their kids, including punishing when needed. They do need to know that actions have consequences. Zane is lucky to have you guys as parents. I foresee my youngest being a wild child too and he has gotten his share of pops for hitting and biting. Has to learn the proper ways to get our attention and tell us what he wants. ;-)

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  4. I agree. I don't have kids, but I'm the oldest of lots of cousins, the youngest of which is 22 years younger than me. And I've had experience teaching all ages, including children with disabilities. All children are different. They all respond to different punishments in different ways. It makes me sick to see kids running their households, because it only makes the real world a bigger shock for them, and they cannot stand on their own two feet. When we were little, we got spankings. And if we did something hateful {like kicking} or dangerous that we knew we shouldn't have been doing, the punishment was definitely worse. I don't see spanking as child abuse at all. There are plenty of kids who have never been spanked, but their parents spend no time with them, and they turn out for the worse, and feel less loved. Good post! Glad you published it!

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  5. I don't have kids yet, but girl I agree! I pop or two on the ass will do people some good.
    I too was raised on ass whoopins. Although I think I was still under 10 when my parents stopped whooping us. Either way it was usually either hand or hickory. I don't think (or remember) getting the belt..although I'm sure we did a couple of times. But boy, just seeing that thing come off would scare the bejeesus out of you. lol And having to go outside & pick your own hickory was one of the worse, most dreaded things everrrr.
    Spankings are needed sometimes, period. No one wants to spank their kids, but hell, they can't just do whatever they want all the time! Gotta let them know.

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  6. LOVE this post! I think you sound like an amazing mom and you are doing so much good for Zane! Kids NEED punishment.... not a beating. Punishment. They need boundaries and there needs to be consequences when they cross those boundaries.
    I was totally spanked (the worst was with a wooden spoon) and my kids will definitely be spanked. Not that I can imagine doing that now, Mia is a perfectly innocent 3 week old :) But I have no doubt that girl is going to earn her fair share of spankings. But she'll also get a talk after each punishment of why she got it, and that I'm doing it because I love her!
    And kids need chores! They need to earn things. They need to learn that they aren't entitled to whatever they want just because the exist. Hard work is something to be proud of, and something that our children need to learn and take pride in!

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  7. I agree with everything in this post. I definitely spank the boys. I was spanked as a child. I however, will never use the belt. My dad used the belt on us too much in my opinion. It has haunted me. I love my dad and know he just did what he was taught. But I feel he took it too far a few times. I won't do that to my children. As far as chores, I need to start implementing them with Nathan. And I need to get better at taking things away. I'm too much of a softie.

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